At first it was just an intuition,

but i never thought it could go this wrong.

I have been warned about reading other people’s thoughts

But it is in my nature since the day I learned the word “WRONG”.

Prejudice and pride ate your heart,

that you even forgot how your words became sharp blades that torn my heart.

I was just saying my part yet you still didn’t listen,

you kept on bubbling things without your eyes being open.

Greed got the best of you but I didn’t care,

I tried to salvage this relationship that I can hardly bare.

You are a legion and I’m just one,

my voice couldn’t reach yours because you didn’t dare to listen.

I know how your ego works and also mine,

I screamed with all my might but still yours I cannot beat,

and your thoughts keep on telling you that I am just a piece of shit.

My heart felt fear and distress,

I gave myself time so that I could think right if I would rest.

Weeks have gone and I have to make a choice,

but somehow I thought maybe your heart did listen to my voice.

But now worse comes to worst and I didn’t prepare,

And all I can do is to stare

to those picture filled with happiness and memories.

Tears fell over my eyes over and over,

and til now it felt as hard as ever.

My heart and soul started to crumble,

as my hands tremble and started being feeble.

You and your legion pierced through my soul,

and I can’t do anything else so I thought I’ll have to crawl.

I made this decision not because I have a change of heart,

but because I thought you need some space so we really need to part.

We will walk our separate ways,

And I know someday you’ll realize what I am trying to say.

I hope in your mind you will not just say “It’s just your loss”,

because I know deep in my heart we both lost.

I wish you’ll stay good and healthy,

coz you’ve been a part of me as a whole.

I know it’s time to say goodbye,

But maybe next time our paths crossed I am ready to say “Hi!”

From the moment I set foot on this world death started to walk towards me.

It was September 26, 1989 when the sun is at his peek, my mother gave me life.

Both joy and uncertainty fill-in their hearts as they look me in my eyes.

They saw my stout body with big eyes yet owns a fragile body.

As I grow I started learning things in my own way.

Foolish and ignorant, I started being greedy and proud.

I thought everything I want will always be mine.

But mischief caught me and brought me into the abyss.

My heart and soul was not prepared to feel anxiety and distress at my spring of youth.

Misery took the next pages of my life.

And in those dark days I felt envy and hatred.

I learned how to be foul and wicked.

I have lied so many times that sometimes I myself created truth out of it.

I cheated everyone the same way I did to myself just to live through.

And stole the hearts of everyone around me just to get their sympathy.

I became cruel and selfish and didn’t care about anyone.

But somehow within this cold heart I started to seek for warmth.

Then I learned how to make friends.

And within those friends I learned how to create a friend out of a person even if

they are arrogant and idiots alike.

I learned how to put myself in other people’s shoes.

I started listening with my ears and stopped using my voice.

And within this state I have found contentment and clarity within my soul.

I realized that one can become at peace if he can only accept and understand what others feel.

My soul started to open up with everything the world has to offer without prejudice and discrimination.

But my past came back to shatter my heart into pieces.

I was so drowned with agony and gloom.

As if I was devoured by a serpent made from misery.

I was caught without a single entity to guard me from this crisis.

But then for months of being engulfed with paranoia and anxiety

I started to test who God was.

I detested his words and his teachings.

So I made my faith be vulnerable from skepticism and denial.

I sought truth from religion to religion, culture to culture just to find truth.

But this greed inside my heart cannot be satisfied.

It’s insatiable lust in search for salvation made me forget who I was

And what I really wanted.

So I went for a stop over to recall who I really am.

Then this person came to give me hope.

I never thought that feeling of being loved by someone is somewhat intoxicating.

My mind kept on thinking about what that person thinks about me.

I started to love her more and more.

But time and opportunity separated us.

Then distance made a fool out of me,

I thought our love cannot be shaken by separation which created lust.

I never realized I was a victim of infidelity and aspersion.

The pain dealt by her selfishness made me bleed.

It feels like I am on the verge of breaking down.

As if I was murdered emotionally by the person whom I entrusted my life filled with secrecy and deception.

The boarders between my sanity and madness is almost eradicated by her change of heart.

So I tried to inflict physical pain just to surpass the torment she inflicted within me.

Because of this break out I started turning my anger into pity.

I asked God so many things and told that life is not fair.

But then I remembered the thing I always say to my sister.

After then I started putting myself back in one piece.

I opened my heart once again.

I filled my soul with appreciation and contentment.

I realized my importance through my family and friends.

I experienced that time really heal all wounds.

But the stigma that those catastrophes made will stay within me to brood over.

rainbowvanilla:

ninadazzles:

darkpantomime:

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six:…